Be alert to the possibility of domestic violence. A women need not conform to the "picture" of a battered woman to be one.

Always ask any accompanying man to wait in the waiting room. If domestic violence is occurring, it will be easier, and safer for the woman to bring it up.

Relationships constantly change, and the woman's attitude towards it, and her abuser, will constantly change as well.

There is rarely a simple solution. Women's feelings towards their abuser are complicated by hope that he will change, and belief that the relationship can work.

What we see is only a "snapshot" of the relationship as a whole. Women will often minimise the violence, and may seem to be over-reacting as a result.

Women will use a variety of coping mechanisms to deal with domestic violence; and they may include denial, and hostility towards themselves.

Don't assume a woman will be offended if you ask about domestic violence. Ask open, non threatening questions such as, "are you having problems at home?" and then she can choose whether to talk about it or not.

She may not think of her experience as domestic violence. If she is angry or hostile, it does not mean it was wrong to ask. She may well come back later when she is ready to discuss it.

Be open and non-judgmental. Show that you believe her, and appreciate how difficult it is for her.

Remember she may have sought help before and been rejected; seek to encourage and empower her. Let her dictate the pace.

Listen to the women about how much danger she may be in. Remember that many women minimise the abuse they suffer. She is the best judge of the danger she may be in.

Do not take power away from her- this is what her abuser has done. Let her make her own decision and choices, even if you do not agree with them.

Do not give her your opinion- Hers is the only important one to be discussed.

Be realistic about her options. Be clear about what is possible, and what you can do to help. Ask what she would like you to do.